Lost but not Alone
by Laser Lance 720
Summary: When the gang land at ember Island Zuko is once more confronted with his childhood trama & shame. But can he look past that & finally heal. Zutara! I like doing this whole Angst thing, I should do it more often for these. Short 1 dabble


Lost but not alone

Takes place right after the group made it to the Ember Island house, before Ember Island players. Zutara!

Zuko stared at the large house hidden behind the trees as the others walked closer to it he stayed behind. They had needed a place to go, and no one would look for them there, but the place still haunted Zuko like a ghost. He'd spent time here, with what was left of his family, with what was left of his life. The last time he'd been here and happy was years ago with his mother. She was always there for him, she had kept him safe from everything, risked her life to save him, and as the minutes ticked by and the comet soared closer Zuko's fears creped deeper inside him. What if they lost the war? What if everything the group had worked for, everything Zuko had gone through was to be for nothing? What if one of them didn't make it through the battle ahead? He'd grown to care for the group; they'd accepted him into the group, and treated him like one of their own. They treated him better than his own family had for the last few years.

He felt a soft arm slid around his and he looked over to see Katara's smiling face as she lead him to the house. The thought of losing Katara burned inside of him, he cared for her more then he'd ever cared for anyone. If he lost her then he didn't know what he would do.

"Zuko where are you sleeping," Sokka called causing Zuko to realize that they were standing in the large court yard.

"Um there are rooms on the west wing and a couple off the south wing too. Sleep anywhere you want." Zuko brushed off the question his eyes longing on the discolored walls. The group picked up their stuff and began to make their ways to different room to stash their things in before it was time for dinner. Katara let go of his arm and smiled her beautiful smile before heading off to claim a room. Zuko sighed and picked his stuff from the ground and moved slowly to an open room.

He walked eyes half closed down the hall unaware of where he was head, letting his feet take him. His hand moved to open the door in front of him and he stepped into the small red and black room. Tossing his things on the bed Zuko stood in the middle looking around. This had been his room when they stayed here. Trudging over he opened the closet to see it empty dust flying at him. Knelling down he felt for the small trap down in the back. Opening it he drew a tattered box from the slot and moved to place it on the bed.

Sliding the lid off the young prince looked into his box of memories. Reaching in he pulled out a torn and ripped little stuffed turtle duck. He'd hidden the thing from everyone for years now, his father believing it was a sign of weakness. He had held the small duck close to his little chest when the storms had hit, held it close when the darkness seeped into his room. Setting it back down he moved through the rest of his child hood memories. Pictures and old toys were scattered crossed the still bed, his hands shacking as he pulled the last thing from it.

Zuko stared at the picture of him and his mother for a long time before he sank to his knees. They had looked so happy in the picture, just the two of them. Zuko remembered the last time he had seen his mother. Her face had been full of fear and regret, but here it was as happy and cheerful as it had been when things had been easier. Tears fell onto the page threatening to destroy the last bit of happiness he had, the last line to his mother. Biting his lip Zuko fought against the tears and pain. He wouldn't cry, he had to be strong. The boy tasted blood in his mouth before he realized he had bitten into his bottom lip.

Setting the picture down he moved to the dresser and pulled the draw open fearing that it wouldn't be there. His heart froze as the stone came into view, his hand reached for it.

"Zuko you ready for dinner," he heard a voice call. Shifting his gaze and pulling his hand from the draw he looked at Katara holding the stone behind his back.

"You dropped something," she said stepping closer into the room. Zuko watched frozen as she picked the tear stained photo from the ground and looked at him. "Who is she?"

"My mother," Zuko replied as the water benders eyes widened.

"She's really pretty," Katara said trying to find the right words to say. She knew Zuko was hurting and she wanted nothing more than to hold him close and tell him everything would be all right, but she couldn't. Instead she sat the photo down and looked over the other objects on the bed before turning back to him. She walked closer to him until they were inches away. Reaching up she whipped the blood from his chin and smiled. Her hand moved to his and she felt the cold stone in his hand. Taking it in her own hand Katara pulled the slab into her sight, Zuko's hand still holding it tight. Her eyes rested on the little hand print in the center that she knew was Zuko's. Her eyes trailed up to his face to see him looking down, his eyes frozen on the hand print.

"I made this the last time we came here for a vacation," Zuko muttered avoiding her eyes, "my mom wanted to do it, but I didn't want to. I hated the way the rock squished around my fingers. But I agreed anyway….Then she left. I thought it was my fault. That if I had been better she would have stayed. If I had been more like Azula then maybe she wouldn't have been ashamed of me and left. I blamed myself for so many years, thinking she couldn't stand the sight of me, and I believed it. Azula and dad didn't help much either, they didn't seem to care much about her once she was gone…."

Zuko's voice trailed off for a moment as Katara held his hand in hers. She didn't know what to say. The young prince had gone through more in his life than anyone should have. And he had been alone for most of it. Katara had gone through lose and pain as well, but Zuko's pain was deeper. She had had people by her side, he hadn't. He had been alone, and hurt and scared with no one there to care. She looked into his face, his eyes glued on the window to the right of him. Katara stared at the long burn that ran the length of the left side of his face.

"…..Then I found out that it was my fault," Zuko continued tears building in his eyes threatening to break his hard shell. Katara looked at him horror in her eyes. "I found out she had left because of me. But not because of what I thought she'd left for. She left to save my life. She gave up everything for me. If only she could see me now, she might have reconsidered saving me. She probably should have just let them kill me; things would have been easier…"

"Why would you say that," Katara asked shaking her head. "Don't say that."

"But what if it's true? I've done things that if she knew she'd be ashamed of. I've hurt people, and I've lied to people, and I've caused so much trouble, that if I wasn't around then maybe thing's wouldn't have been so hard. Ba Sing Se would still be strong; my mother would still be alive, Mai and Ty Lee wouldn't be locked away or dead for all I know, Uncle wouldn't be missing and angry and ashamed of me. I've let them all down, my mom, my friends, and my uncle. Every one of them loved and cared for me and I did nothing to save them in the end. I'm no better than the rest of…"

Katara pressed her lips to his shutting him up. Zuko's eyes widened before he moved deeper into the kiss. Their lips meshed together and pulled apart long enough for them to get air before going back in. He laid the handprint behind him on the dresser letting his hands travel down her back and threw her hair. The two stood there as time flew by. She pulled away and rested her forehead on his chin.

"Don't you ever talk about that again," she said her voice breaking. "You mean more than you think Zuko. If you weren't around we wouldn't be where we are now."

"You'd probably be better off…"

"No we wouldn't. We'd be lost without you with us. You matter to the world and you matter to us. Whatever happened to Mai and Ty Lee wasn't you fault. They knew what would happen and what they were doing. They're probably off hiding safely or looking for you now. And your mother and uncle would be proud of you. You risked everything to help us. You could have stayed safely back at the Fire Nation and waited for them to win the war, but you came to us and helped. You mean more then you know. I don't know what I'd do if you were gone. So don't talk like that."

The two stood together in silence Katara listening to the beating of his heart. "You need to stop looking down on yourself, and you need to realize that whatever happened happened, and there's nothing you can do to change it. You have to move on and make the best of things."

Zuko held her close her words ringing through his ears. It was time to move on; it was time to except what had happened. It was time to fight back and end it.

"I've never told anyone this before," Zuko said as Katara looked up at him with warm blue eyes. "Not even Uncle."

"Well I'm glad I mean so much to you," she said kissing his lips briefly. She stepped from his arms and grasped his hand in hers. "Now we need to get going, they'll start worrying if we don't get back soon." Zuko smiled as she led him to the others.

Things were going to change now; things were going to be better. Everyone's sacrifices would no longer be in vain.


End file.
